Can’t stand a gapping silence in a conversation? Try this instead

It was my first year as an IT auditor and this was the third time I was talking to Agnes.

Agnes, Head of the accounts team and had been at the organisation for decades.

I was still getting to grips with what to ask to test the computer controls so imagine my surprise when Agnes suddenly spills the beans. I can’t remember what she told me but I remember what I learnt.

People don’t like silence and will do anything to fill it, even telling the auditor something they probably shouldn’t.

In my panic to try and work out what to ask next so I didn’t need to come back for a forth time, I’d accidently left some silence.

So there’s one idea, soundlessly look down at your notes for a little longer than usual and hear what happens!

Another idea is to fill the silence with something else other than your words.

What would it be like to fill the silence with your attention and curiosity? Even if just for a second?

An Idea From James Clear:

“Being pleasant and having a good attitude is a simple way to become luckier.

Opportunities come through people, and people are more likely to bring opportunities to people they like.

It’s hard to win if your attitude adds friction to every interpersonal experience.”

This reminds me of a friend of mine who is always kind and pleasant even when she is returning something that’s broken. The sales people always go the extra mile for her and I try to be more like her.

I sent this to her to let her know.

A day in my life:

An autumnal walk.

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