How to coach yourself

Very few of us can afford to have a coach on call (I’m available if you are ?)

So in those moments when it would be handy to have a coach but all you’ve got is pen and paper then try this. It works for dilemmas big and small.

What is your ideal outcome?

No one but you is going to see what you’ve written so it can be as unrealistic and out of this world as you like.

You can say you want to be riding on a unicorn in a world made of chocolate.

You can write, mind map, draw, use one colour or 100. Do what feels fun for you, this is YOUR ideal outcome, not anyone else’s.

Once you’ve got your initial thoughts down ask yourself:

And what else?

Called the AWE question by Box of Crayons founder Michael Bungay-Stanier (he goes by MBS), these three simple words encourage you to create more wisdom, insights, possibilities, and self awareness.

MBS suggests asking it at least 3 times and no more than 5.

Keep adding to your page each time you ask yourself, “and what else?”

Stand up and move

Movement stimulates thinking, that’s why some of your best ideas often happen when you’re out for a walk. So get up and move for a bit. Better yet, put on your favourite song and dance. Do this anytime you feel stuck.

Take a look over what you have written/drawn

Work through any of the questions below that resonate with you. Keep it light and easy, you can come back to the ones you don’t want to answer later if you need to.

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  • If you have something like  riding on a unicorn in a world made of chocolate that is impossible in real life ask yourself, what is that telling me about what I really want? Is it fun, excitement, is it a feeling?
  • What things could you start doing easily to get to your ideal outcome?
  • Which bits of your ideal outcome are you already doing?
  • Who could help?
  • What might you be assuming that is blocking you from your ideal outcome? Are those assumptions true? How could you find out?
  • What would it mean to you to get this outcome
  • On a scale of 1-10 how committed are you to this outcome? For anything less than 8, ask yourself what’s causing you spend time on something that isn’t important?

What’s happening now?

Just like with your ideal outcome, write, mind map, draw, whatever comes to your mind.

And what else?

Ask this questions between 3-5 times, until there is nothing more to add.

Stand up and move

Get that oxygen pumping to your brain cells.

Take a look over what you have written/drawn

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  • What options are there?
  • What are you already doing that is helping you reach your ideal outcome?
  • What needs to change to reach your ideal outcome?
  • What could you stop doing that is sabotaging your ideal outcome?
  • What is outside of your control?
  • What influence do you have?

When you’re stuck – stop and come back

If you get stuck, then stop and come back to it later. Once you’re clear on your ideal outcome your brain will start filtering the information it receives to find ways for you to achieve it. So any time you feel stuck, stop. Take a walk, dance like crazy, sleep on it and come back to it later.

Act on your insights immediately

When you know what you need to do then do it or take a step towards it immediately. Send that email, pick up the phone, book that meeting. Do it in the moment while you’re still feeling inspired to rev up your motivation and momentum.


So what do you think? Would you try this?

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