Let’s take angry as an example. I can usually decipher that I’m angry but if we look at Susan’s graphic we see that angry can display itself in many ways. If I think about what I’m like when I’m irritated vs grumpy (I love this word) its very different.
When I’m irritated I tend to be more snappy with people, even if they aren’t the cause of the irritation. When I’m grumpy, I’m more withdrawn and negative.
The causes for my grumpiness and irritation are usually different as well. People that use reply all to have a chat with one other person irritate me, while I usually get grumpy when I’m tired or hungry.
By being able to be more specific about how you feel, you’re in a much better position to take action. A sleep or snack isn’t going help me if I’m irritated, in fact I won’t be able to get to sleep or I’ll eat everything in sight! But it will do wonders if I’m grumpy. Conversely, having a chat to the perceived cause of my grumpiness is likely to end in disaster.
So next time you catch yourself saying you’re fine, pause for a moment and try to determine what kind of fine you are. When we truly understand how we feel then we move from being at the mercy of our emotions to being more in control of them. And it helps us manage our Chimp Brain
better as well.
I’d love to hear how you’d use these umbrella’s?