10 questions to get you unstuck

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Sometimes my clients get stuck.
I used to panic when this happened and try everything I could to get them out of that stuckness only to find it made us even more stuck. Thoughts like:
  • why can’t I get us out of this?
  • maybe I’m not a good enough coach?
  • why can’t they see what I see
would run through my mind and I would feel myself getting frustrated and then hear myself start telling my coachee what I thought the answer was.
I kept bringing this dilemma of how to help my clients out of stuckness to supervision. And then one day I noticed how my supervision group would ask me questions about what it was like, how it felt, what I was thinking at the time and afterwards. They were curious, not judgey and it hit me that curiosity is the way out of many difficult and sticky situations.
Those of who who have come across Marilee Adams and her book Change your questions, Change your life, might recognise my judger thinking and blaming in my thinking that would have also been echoing the blame in my clients thinking.
And if you’re in judger you can’t help someone else get out of judger -it all starts with ourselves.
So I thought it might be useful to share some of my fav questions that can help you or a colleague get out of the mud and thinking for your/themselves again.
  1. What assumptions might I be making? – are they really true?
  2. What do I want here?
  3. What’s the ideal scenario?
  4. What are the facts?
  5. What am I responsible for?
  6. What is the other person thinking and feeling?
  7. Why might they be saying/acting like this?
  8. What am I missing or avoiding?
  9. What is a good question here?
  10. What is something I could do now that will make a difference?
Drop me a line and let me know how you get unstuck, I love getting your emails and respond to them all.
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