Are You Coaching or Mentoring? Here’s How to Tell the Difference
The biggest misunderstanding I see amongst managers is when they think they’re coaching they’re actually mentoring.
Coaching is giving someone your attention while they think out loud and asking questions to help them discover their own solutions to act on.
When you coach, your team member is doing the majority of the talking – 70% or more and they’re coming up with the answers themselves. This is empowering and your team member is more likely to take responsibility for their actions.
Mentoring is when you share your experience, advice, guidance and networks with someone. You’re doing the majority of the talking and that’s helpful, because your team member is learning from you by hearing about your approach, insights and mistakes.
Coaching and mentoring are different ends of the same continuum.
Where would you put yourself on the line?
Outside of a coaching session I’d say I’m closer to the mentoring end. It’s natural to spend a lot of time at that end because we are used to being told what to do so when we become a manager that’s what we do.
When you think about the best managers you’ve ever had, where were they on the line?
I bet they spent a lot of time in coaching which is why you’re as awesome as you are.
So next time you notice you’re on the mentoring end of the continuum, doing the majority of the talking, and you want to coach instead, ask a question such as:
>That’s how I’d do it, what would you do?
> What’s going to stop you from achieving this?
> As you’ve been listening to me what ideas have been coming up for you?
After each question you can easily slip into the Coaching Two-Step.
Remember to use each step at least once before asking another question and remember the best questions start with “what”.
Give it a go this week and let me know your successes and challenges.
Can you help spread the word?
I’ve designed the Think Like A Coach Programme to help professional services firms transform their new manager into coach-like leaders.
It helps new managers go from feeling like they have to control everything their team does to trusting them to get the job done.
It gives them practical tools to help them get over the squeamishness of holding their team accountable so they can boost motivation and drive exceptional performance instead.
And most importantly, it shows them how to do all this and more through everyday conversations.
I’m holding a free virtual taster workshop on Wednesday 12th December from 2-3pm.
Attendees will leave with:
💡 A clear understanding of what it means to be coach-like manager.
💡 A taste of the Coaching Two-Step, a model designed with coach-like managers in mind.
💡 Practical tips of how to bring coaching into your everyday conversations.
They’ll also be in the draw to win a signed copy of the book.
This would be perfect for people in professional services responsible for new manager development in L&D or HR that need a simple and practical solution.
Do you know anyone that would be a good fit?
If so, please forward this to them and invite them to come along or get in touch. They can find out more about me either on Linkedin or www.thinkwithjude.com
Thanks for your support.
Where can I buy a copy of Think Like A Coach?
Think Like A Coach is available in the UK from Amazon and The Right Book Press. Worldwide it is available through Amazon. Links here.
